I have not given up, I am still here

Sorry I have been totally MIA for a few months, I have been spending a lot of quality time with my family and baby. I haven’t felt the urge to write anything because my head has been else where.

It is that time of year where everything gets a head of you and before you know it, its Christmas.

Every year we say this year will be better nothing else could possibly go wrong, and then it does. I think myself and my family are just use to things happening that it doesn’t even bother us anymore. We just get on with it.

Last year, just as I had my daughter my nan was diagnosed with cancer. Cancer isn’t new to our family, in fact it seems to haunt us. Just a year before she was diagnosed my granddad died of it. My nan cared for him for 3 years only asking for help towards the end, she saw just how heart breaking it is from the outside to then be told she had it too. We went through the surgery with her, and for the first few months of my daughters life she had to put up with going to the hospital everyday so my nan could have radio therapy. She was a trooper! She fought and fought hard and she beat it. This year just before summer, she was diagnosed with it again. This time somewhere else. With her age and health its getting harder. How much can one person take? Only she is. She is strong and powerful, and seeing her being so strong you cant help but think my bad day at work is nothing compared to what you are going through so how can I moan.

Right now she is having one of the strongest chemo’s possible, so she can fight that bit longer! She says her will power is my daughter. She wants to see her grow, be around long enough so she will remember who she was. How can someone so small be a lifeline for someone.

My daughter was sent to save people, she saved me, she saved my family and she is saving my nan. Yet she doesn’t know just how much she means to everyone.

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Easter Bunny


This wasn’t baby b’s first Easter, but it was the first one we were able do anything with her and for her to start having an understating of what it is about.

Last year she was barely a month old. We had spent the day in hospital since my nan had just had a huge operation so Easter was slightly forgotten about.

This year we wanted to make the most of it! After buying roughly a million eggs we were set for Easter.

Baby B Loved it! Even thou we had planned the whole weekend out and not a single thing we planned happened, that’s a parent life for you, it was still amazing.

Now three days after the weekend I am still eating chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Diet? What is that!

Hope you all had a great Easter making memories xx


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Survival list

Watching friends have children before my daughter was born I would sit back and think who on earth needs all that stuff. How many nappies does one child really need, and does anyone actually need a bottle warmer?

… And then my daughter was born, and everything I ever questioned suddenly made sense! I bought so many things whilst I was pregnant I wondered if I would ever get round to using it all but I can honestly say there isn’t a single thing I didn’t use, but there were certain items that I would say every mum needs in their first year survival kit.

1. A nappy basket in every room

This is such a simple one but I can’t explain how easy it made things, I didn’t have to run up and down the stairs every time she needed changing because I had a basket downstairs which always felt like it had a lifetime supply of nappies, creams, burp cloths, vests and pjs. I still even have this now.

2. Amber teething necklace

This isn’t for everyone, but I have actually swore by it. I took it off her for a few weeks just to see and the day I put it back on she started sleeping through again. If this is something you would like to try make sure you buy the real thing, there is so many fakes about.

3. Teddy Blankie

When I went into early labour, the nurse said I should sleep with something that my daughter could have if she was born early to always have the smell of me. I slept with this little teddy holding a blanket, since day 1 she has had this and when she was ever upset or cranky somehow this teddy calmed her down. Now a days we have 3 of them just in case but she still is always carrying it around.

4. Loved so much baby bouncer

Heaven! It vibrated, and sang songs and when I collapsed it down I cried. If only she could still fit into it. For younger babies it is a perfect way to keep them safe if your ironing, having a quick snack or just to have a sit down by yourself.

5. Tommee Tippee Bottle warmer

After I stopped breast feeding this during the night was amazing! I didn’t have to run downstairs to warm a bottle up as I kept the warmer next to my bed, it just made night feeds just that bit easier.

6. Pregnancy support pillow

Towards the end of my pregnant I couldn’t sleep, with this I could sleep anywhere they are designed to help and support you! After my daughter was born I used it as a feeding pillow and a tummy time pillow it was worth every penny.

7. A compartment filled nappy bag

I always left the house like we were going away for a week, but having a perfect nappy bag with a compartment for everything made it so easy not to forget anything.

8. Baby sling

This takes some time to get use to but once you get the hang of it, it is so worth the practice! My daughter suffered from acid reflux and somedays putting her in the sling was the only way I would get anything done. It came on holiday with us and being able to walk around the airport collecting my luggage and having both hands free was a complete luxury.

9. A good do it all pram

Now a days you can get some great deals on prams, but I would highly recommend a travel system with car seat. Being able to take the car seat out the car and straight on the frame makes life so much easier especially if you are a first time mum wondering out on your own, you don’t have a million free hands.

10. A few things for you

Waist Trainer, this was more of an old wives tale but I it worked wonders!

Good supportive under wear, whether you are nursing or not. Stretch mark cream, even after having a baby keeping the belly, hips and thighs oiled up will stop any little ones creeping up. Plenty of nursing pads and maternity pads, you will be surprised how many you use. Plenty of coffee and lastly a huge pat on the back!


Even after all of that the one thing I couldn’t have coped without, was my mum. Even if it was just for a cup of tea or a reassuring smile, she is always on hand for when I just needed a helping hand

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366 days down, a lifetime left.


Full of mixed emotions, I’m sure every parent goes through it.
The first birthday draws closer and yet you can’t deicide to be happy, sad, excited or do you let the anxiety wash over you.

Being caught in an emotional break down of the fact I’ve been called mummy for nearly a whole year and yet i don’t know whats more depressing, that she is growing so fast or the fact I’m still carrying the tummy.

On the other hand i couldn’t be more happier that this sweet baby has grown into the most perfect stroppiest drama queen of a toddler. Who can not help but make you smile.

But when the days race a head of you and another evening ends with her in bed, you can’t help but wonder where does the time go? One moment you’re packing a hospital bag full of worry and uncertainty, waiting to see this face thats been growing so wonderfully inside you. The next you’re holding her hand whilst she takes her first few steps and planning the day where she goes from baby to toddler.

Do the days ever slow down or do you just soak it up way more than you should just so you don’t ever forget what that moment feels like.

For now i wait for the tantrums, the grazed knees, the first sentences, the first day of school and watching her grow everyday into an even more perfect little girl.

Here is to turning 1.

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