I have not given up, I am still here

Sorry I have been totally MIA for a few months, I have been spending a lot of quality time with my family and baby. I haven’t felt the urge to write anything because my head has been else where.

It is that time of year where everything gets a head of you and before you know it, its Christmas.

Every year we say this year will be better nothing else could possibly go wrong, and then it does. I think myself and my family are just use to things happening that it doesn’t even bother us anymore. We just get on with it.

Last year, just as I had my daughter my nan was diagnosed with cancer. Cancer isn’t new to our family, in fact it seems to haunt us. Just a year before she was diagnosed my granddad died of it. My nan cared for him for 3 years only asking for help towards the end, she saw just how heart breaking it is from the outside to then be told she had it too. We went through the surgery with her, and for the first few months of my daughters life she had to put up with going to the hospital everyday so my nan could have radio therapy. She was a trooper! She fought and fought hard and she beat it. This year just before summer, she was diagnosed with it again. This time somewhere else. With her age and health its getting harder. How much can one person take? Only she is. She is strong and powerful, and seeing her being so strong you cant help but think my bad day at work is nothing compared to what you are going through so how can I moan.

Right now she is having one of the strongest chemo’s possible, so she can fight that bit longer! She says her will power is my daughter. She wants to see her grow, be around long enough so she will remember who she was. How can someone so small be a lifeline for someone.

My daughter was sent to save people, she saved me, she saved my family and she is saving my nan. Yet she doesn’t know just how much she means to everyone.

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